Harry Potter: Ignorance Is Bliss
by Xero Mind
Summary: Illegal potion making, Memory lost, Fighting, and a burgeoning relationship, it's been a hectic week for Harry, but the most difficult thing is having to choose between Happiness and Fate
1. Sneaky Bastard

**Harry Potter: Ignorance Is Bliss**

**Chapter One**

**Sneaky Bastard**

"Harry's been acting like a sneaky bastard the last couple of weeks." Ron said, as he stuffed toast into his mouth.

Hermione looked up from the book she was reading. "Yeah? Why's that?" She asked, flipping a page.

"I dunno. You think he confides in me or something. Alls I know is that he sneaks off somewhere, alone. He leaves early from the dorm and comes back late, sometimes after lights out. Then he evades questioning about where he's been." Ron piled his plate with scrambled eggs and a handful of bacon. "If I'd known better I'd think it was a girl. But you know Harry, he's almost asexual."

"He's dated before." Hermione said, reaching for a bun.

"Cho? She doesn't count."

"Why's that?" Hermione flipped another page in her book.

Ron thought for a moment. "I dunno. They actually never dated, sure he fancied her, but that's only fancying her." Ron shoveled eggs into his mouth, chewing rapidly.

"Right." Hermione said slowly. "And you're a real lady's man, aren't you?"

Ron blushed furiously. "That's not the point. The point is that Harry's running off somewhere, doing god knows what, and he's being sneaky about it."

"Its none of our business." Hermione said.

"What? None of our business? He's our friend. We have the right to know." Ron said, gesturing wildly with his fork.

Hermione flicked egg off of her book, sighing, she closed it. "Listen Ron. You leave Harry alone. He's grieving. He'll come to us when the time is right." She said, glaring at him. Ron glared back at her, but after a moment he looked away.

He nodded. "Whatever. It's been three weeks now and he's not spoken a single thing to us, he doesn't even sit near us. I try talking to him, but it's like talking to a door, he doesn't respond and acts as if you weren't there. I'm worried."

"So am I, but we can't push these things. He'll come to us in his own time. We just gotta wait it out. If we push, we push him away." Hermione said, opening her book again.

"Yeah, I understand. But he's up to something, I can feel it in my bones."

"I guess all those years of divination are paying off." Hermione said scathingly.

Ron glared at her and took a bit of a biscuit. "You're damn right about that. I'm sure he's up to something and I'll tell you this. It isn't something good."


	2. The Next Morning

The Next Morning  
  
"I followed him." Ron admitted as he sat down at the Gryffindor table.  
  
Hermione slammed down the book she had been reading. "Damn it, Ron." She hissed. A couple of younger students glanced their way, but they quickly concentrated upon their food when Hermione glared at them.  
  
"Yeah, I know what you're gonna say. So don't." Ron said quickly, raising his hands to placate her.  
  
'You're a stupid git, you know that? Stupid and intrusive." Hermione hissed back, her voice going shrill.  
  
Ron nodded, grabbing a plate and heaping potatoes and sausages upon it. "I know it's a real shitty thing to do, but I had to know what he's up to."  
  
"I told you to leave him alone. I told you to let him come to us in his own time. And what do you do? You spy on him, you follow him about school!" Hermione slammed her palm upon the table, Ron winced and shoved a forkful of potatoes into his mouth, avoiding her glare.  
  
"It's not like I planned it or anything." Ron began.  
  
"That's not an excuse. It's still a damn wrong thing to do. You should have just let him be."  
  
"It was after Transfiguration. I tried talking to him, but he just brushed past me. Like I wasn't there. I got pissed and told him to stop. He didn't, just kept walking. Then I decided to find out what he was doing." Ron said, stabbing a sausage with his fork.  
  
Hermione sighed. She grabbed bun and slathered jelly upon it. "It was a wrong thing to do, even though."  
  
"I know. I know." Ron said, shaking his head.  
  
"Well? Where'd he go?" Hermione demanded.  
  
Ron grinned. "You won't believe it."  
  
"Just tell me." Hermione opened her book, sighing again as she noticed a crease in one of the pages.  
  
"He went to Myrtle's bathroom." Ron said grinning. "Why? I don't know."  
  
"Myrtle's bathroom? What's he doing there?"  
  
"Like I said. I don't know." Ron tossed a piece of sausage into his mouth.  
  
"That's strange. What would he be doing in Myrtle's bathroom?"  
  
"Maybe he has a thing for ghosts now." Ron said, smirking.  
  
"That's just low, Ron. Take it back." Hermione glared.  
  
"Yeah. I guess it was. Sorry. But he's doing something there. I'm definite he's not there for the stimulating conversations. He detests Myrtle." Ron said.  
  
"The only time we ever used Myrtles' bathroom for anything was to brew Polyjuice and get to the Chamber of Secrets." Hermione tapped her finger upon her book, a look of concentration upon her face.  
  
"Dumbledore sealed off the Chamber of Secrets." Ron said, he pushed around a burnt piece of potato upon his plate. "Could he be brewing something up in secret?"  
  
Hermione nodded. "He could be. He could be doing anything in that restroom. Myrtle fancies him and I doubt she'll go blabbing about anything he's doing in there."  
  
"We gotta find out what he's doing. He might be doing something dangerous or illegal." Ron said.  
  
Hermione snorted. "That's the first time I've ever heard you utter those words."  
  
Ron looked indignant. "People can turn over new leaves, Hermione. I for one care about my friend's safety."  
  
"You're more interested in what he's doing. A nosy prat, that's what you are." Hermione shot back.  
  
"So are we going to follow him or not."  
  
"Might as well. Like you said. We need to find out if he's doing anything dangerous or illegal."  
  
"Right after breakfast." Ron said, grabbing a slice of bread and piling it high with food.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "You sure do have you're priorities right, don't you?'  
  
"Never do snooping on an empty stomach." Ron said, spraying potato across the table. 


	3. Brewing in the Girl's Toilet

Brewing in the Girl's Toilet  
  
"You need to add a bit more hellebore." Myrtle's high voice echoed across the empty, quiet bathroom.  
  
Harry blinked, looking up at the ghost that was hovering excitedly a few feet away. "I've added enough." He replied tersely.  
  
"That's powdered hellebore, not chopped. The volume's not the same. You need to add a bit more." Myrtle said.  
  
"Fine." Harry popped the top of the small glass jar and sprinkled a bit more upon the brewing mass. "Happy?"  
  
"Now we wait." Myrtle said, giggling.  
  
Harry nodded to himself. 'Almost done now." He muttered. "Everything will be better after this, right Myrtle?"  
  
Myrtle shrugged. "I know how to make it, but I've never used it. Can't you see I'm dead?" She went shrill on the last words. Harry just shrugged. He had gotten use to her tantrums. After a few moments of quiet had passed, Myrtle spoke up again. "Now add the Jabberknoll feathers and a pinch of moonstone. Be careful, this is the tricky part."  
  
Harry nodded, carefully measuring out the ingredients and tossing them into the brew. It sputtered, hissed, and a thick purplish smoke wafted off of it. Harry coughed and sneezed, closing his eyes.  
  
"Harry! What are you doing?" A familiar voice shouted.  
  
Harry looked up from where he crouched and saw Hermione and Ron standing there, shock looks of their faces and wide eyes.  
  
"Oh, we're busted!" Myrtle screeched and vanished.  
  
"Damn." Harry muttered, He stood up, brushing his hands upon his robes. He glared at them. "What do you want?"  
  
Hermione glanced down at the potion he was mixing. "What are you making?" She asked.  
  
"None of your business." Harry snarled.  
  
"Don't be an ass, Harry. We're just worried." Ron snapped.  
  
"Well, don't be. I'm fine." Harry said, crossing his arms across his chest. "Now get the hell out of here."  
  
"Tell us what you're doing." Hermione demanded.  
  
"None of your business." Harry snapped.  
  
Myrtle suddenly appeared near the brewing potion. "You'd better stir this, Harry. It's bubbling over, you seriously don't want it to bubble over." She said.  
  
"Get out." Harry pointed to the door. "I'm busy."  
  
"What are you brewing, Harry." Hermione asked.  
  
"Tell us or we'll tell Dumbledore." Ron suddenly said. Hermione glared at him, but after a moment nodded.  
  
Harry snorted. "Do it then. Run to him, see if I care. By the time he comes down here, it'll all be over!" Hermione and Ron glanced at each other. They began inching for the door.  
  
"Stir the damn potion, Harry!" Myrtle screamed. "It's too late. Run for it!" She then vanished.  
  
Harry started, glancing down at the furiously bubbling potion. "Oh, damn."  
  
There was a hissing sound, followed by a loud crack, and then a cloud of greenish yellow smoke enveloped the three students. Harry dropped to his knees coughing violently and then there was darkness. 


	4. A Talk Over Tea

Talk Over Tea  
  
Dumbledore pulled up a chair, wincing as the wood scrapped against the floor. Madam Pomfrey gave him a disapproving look but didn't say anything. She levitated a chipped teakettle and two mismatched cups to the small table the two sat at.  
  
"One lump or two?" Pomfrey asked, levitating a jar of sugar to the table also.  
  
"Five." Dumbledore said, adjusting his robes. Pomfrey tsked and dumped the sugar cubes into the tea.  
  
"Do you know what they were doing?' Pomfrey asked, after taking a sip of her tea and then adding another two cubes of sugar.  
  
"Your guess is as good as mine. I've told Snape to investigate exactly what they were brewing. I've tried asking Myrtle, but she's being tight lipped and keeps flushing herself down the toilet to run away."  
  
"I've warned you. You should block off that restroom. It's brought enough trouble already, with the Basilisk and all." Pomfrey levitated a plate of cookies to the table. "Have a cookie, they're oatmeal and raisins." She shoved the plate before Dumbledore.  
  
"Quite delicious. You make it yourself?" Dumbledore asked as he took a bite of one, Pomfrey nodded, securing a few for herself. "Hindsight is always clear. We should have, but then Myrtle might throw a fit, being boarded up in the toilet." Dumbledore took another sip of tea.  
  
"I can find nothing physically wrong with them. They're just knocked out, a deep sleep. I've tried waking them, but they're not responding.' Pomfrey said, her voice full of concern. She didn't like being stumped when it came to medical problems. "What were they making?"  
  
Dumbledore sighed a weary sigh. "Something with memory. That's all we can tell at this time, Snape claims he can probably recreate what they were making from what got scattered when the potion exploded, but he's not optimistic about it."  
  
"Memories!" Pomfrey exclaimed.  
  
Dumbledore nodded.  
  
'Who knows what that could cause. If the potion they were making really did deal with memories, emotions, or anything involving the mind, there's no telling what they might have gotten themselves into." Pomfrey glanced toward the door of her office. Outside lay three occupied beds, where Harry, Hermione, and Ron were all sleeping deeply. "No sixth year should be messing with that kind of potion making. It's dangerous, who knows how it could effect them." Pomfrey furiously chewed upon a cookie.  
  
Dumbledore nodded. "I agree. We'll watch them for any signs of anything wrong. Meanwhile keep an eye on them while they're here. Report anything that looks suspicious."  
  
"Those kids." Pomfrey shook her head. "They're always getting into trouble. You really have to get on them about acting correctly."  
  
Dumbledore nodded. "We could always expel them." He said.  
  
Pomfrey shook her head. "That's a good idea, but I know you're only kidding. You can't let Harry go anywhere, not with You Know Who out there."  
  
"We'll find out what they were making and we'll find out if they've suffered any damage from it." Dumbledore drained his cup. "I must leave now, a Headmaster's duty is never done." He tucked a few more cookies into his pocket and nodded to Pomfrey, walking out the door.  
  
"What were you doing, Harry?" He asked softly standing over the peacefully sleeping form of Harry, but there was no answer. 


	5. Feelin' Fine

Feelin' Fine  
  
Harry opened his eyes and then closed them again. He was having the most wonderful dream, already it was fading, but scenes of laughter, good friends, and a giant delicious chocolate bunny fluttered through his mind. A chocolate bunny? Really, Potter your imagination needs to grow up. He thought, shaking his head.  
  
Harry opened his eyes again. He looked up at a familiar ceiling. It's been a while since I've been here, he thought.  
  
"What am I doing in the Hospital Wing?" He wondered aloud.  
  
"You're awake!" It sounded like an accusation. Harry turned and saw Madam Pomfrey descending upon him. Her stance, her movements, and the furious way she moved all said she was mad, but the look of utter relief and the sun bright smile said she was happy. Harry decided not to provoke and only nodded in response.  
  
She pulled up a chair and sat down upon it, placing a cool hand upon his forehead. "You don't have a fever.' She shoved a thermometer into his mouth. "You're temp's alright." She then pulled out a clipboard and scribbled furiously on it. "How are you feeling?"  
  
Harry thought for a moment. "I'm...I'm feelin' fine." He said and he realized he was. He sat up in the bed, and sighed as he saw he was in a hospital gown. The half formed thought of escaping sputtered and died.  
  
Pomfrey frowned. "No dizziness? No headaches. Seeing straight?" None, none, and yes. Pomfrey frowned again. 'Any aches, pains?" None. "What were you doing?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Harry asked, running his hand through his hair.  
  
Pomfrey's eyes turned into slits. "In the girl's toilet. What were you doing in there?"  
  
"The girl's toilet? What would I be doing in the girl's toilet?" Harry asked, shocked.  
  
"Don't play dumb, Potter. I had to personally drag you're unconscious body out of Myrtle's bathroom, not six hours ago." She said.  
  
Harry thought for a moment. "I don't remember that."  
  
Concern flashed across Pomfrey's face. "You don't remember brewing something in the girl's restroom. You don't remember the explosion?"  
  
"No." Harry said.  
  
"Short term memory loss." Pomfrey scribbled quickly upon her clipboard. "What day is it?" She asked.  
  
"September 17?"  
  
Pomfrey nodded. "What's the last thing you remember?"  
  
"Eating breakfast." Harry responded.  
  
"What did you do this morning? Step by step from the moment you woke up."  
  
"Uh...washed, dressed, and went down to breakfast. I ate alone." Harry responded. He felt his stomach rumble. "Can I get something to eat? I'm starving."  
  
Pomfrey nodded. "We're going to have to do some tests. Make sure nothing was damaged by the explosion." She said, gesturing toward his head.  
  
"What explosion?" Harry demanded, feeling a little angry. She keeps talking about an explosion, what happened?  
  
"You, Hermione, and Ron were found in Myrtle's restroom, unconscious. We found the remains of a potion that you were brewing. It exploded, knocking the three of you out. We aren't still sure what you were making. Do you know?"  
  
Harry shook his head. Harry felt frustrated. What had happened?  
  
"Are Hermione and Ron okay?" Harry asked.  
  
Pomfrey sighed. "Yes. I let them go an hour ago. They don't remember anything also. They don't know what they were doing in the restroom, and they don't know anything about this potion you were brewing."  
  
"Why do you keep saying I was brewing something? Why would I brew anything, especially an exploding potion that makes me forget everything since breakfast?" Harry demanded. "Can I go? There's nothing physically wrong with me. I'm feeling fine, I just can't remember a few things, is all."  
  
Pomfrey stood up. "You'll leave when I say you can leave. As I said before, there are some tests I want to run. We can't be to safe, you know."  
  
Harry sighed and lay back upon the bed. "This sucks." He muttered. 


	6. The Next Morning II

The Next Morning II  
  
"So do you think happened yesterday?" Ron asked sliding into the seat across from Hermione at the Gryffindor table.  
  
Hermione was flipping through a book, a frown upon her face. "It feels like I've already read this." She said.  
  
"Maybe you have. Pomfrey says we lost a good chunk of our memory yesterday. Most likely you read it yesterday and don't remember it today." Ron replied, picking up a plate and silverware.  
  
Hermione sighed. "I can't read this again. It feels like a waste of time. I should know what I read, but I don't." She angrily shoved the book aside, folding her arms across her chest. She glanced to her right; a pair of younger students cringed and quickly concentrated upon their food. What was up with them? She thought.  
  
"So? Read it again. You read that damn Hogwarts, A History every chance you get." Ron said, dragging a couple of pancakes upon his plate, after a moment, he added a few more. "Pass the syrup, will you?"  
  
Hermione handed him the syrup. "I like that book. But this one was for Potions. I can almost recall what I read, like déjà vu, but different. It's frustrating, the words don't sink in when I feel like I already know what's on the page, but actually don't 'cause I have no memory of reading it the first time." She angrily broke apart a bun and dipped it into the jelly jar.  
  
"Hey, at least we only lost the morning, not the whole day or the whole month." Ron said over a mouthful of food. "Personally I would have preferred that we got zonked by that mysterious potion today, rather than yesterday."  
  
"Yeah? Why's that?" Hermione reopened the book back and began flipping through the pages. She began frowning again as she flipped through page upon page that seemed so familiar but she couldn't remember the contents.  
  
"Today we have Potions." Ron said. "I'm sure that git Snape's gonna have a few choice words about what happened the other day. He's never one to pass up a good Gryffindor bashing. "  
  
"What? What's today?" Hermione asked suddenly.  
  
'Uh...Wednesday? September 18." Ron said.  
  
Hermione groaned. "We lost a whole day." She sighed, rubbing her temples. "I was thinking today was Tuesday. I gotta head back up to my room and get the right books."  
  
Ron glanced at his watch. "You got enough time. Nearly thirty minutes before Potions starts."  
  
"I hate this." Hermione said suddenly.  
  
"Hate what?" Ron asked cautiously.  
  
"This whole losing a bit of my memory thing. It's seriously messed up. I mean, your memories make up who you are. It's like I've lost a bit of myself yesterday."  
  
Ron looked at her questioningly. "It was only a couple of hours. Nothing dramatic."  
  
"Still a couple of hours is a big thing. I could have realized something wonderful, something amazing. I could have made a promise, agreed to do something, or even met someone new." Hermione said, Ron stared at her as he saw tears sparkle in her eyes.  
  
"Jeez, Hermione. A couple of hours is nothing. Hell, everyday we do pretty much the same things, day in and day out. Everyday we sit in the Great Hall, eat, talk, and then go to the same classes. I'm telling you, you didn't miss much." Ron said, grinning.  
  
Hermione glared at him. "Of course you wouldn't understand. You're as dense as a rock. A couple of hours is nothing." She said imitating his voice. "I wish we got zonked today, cuz I don't wanna go to Potions. Heh- heh." She slammed her Potion book shut.  
  
"I don't sound like that." Ron said, offended.  
  
"You're just so.. ugh!" Hermione screeched, grabbing her bag and storming off.  
  
"Girls." Ron cursed, shaking his head. He glanced about and saw two students staring at him. "What the hell are you looking at?" He roared. The two cringed and locked their eyes on their plates.  
  
Ginny suddenly appeared. She sat down in Hermione's vacant seat, her brown eyes glaring at him.  
  
"Oh, bullocks." Ron cried, throwing his hands into the air. "What in bloody hell's your problem!" 


	7. Kicking Some Ass

Kicking Some Ass  
  
"You can go now." Madam Pomfrey said, begrudgingly.  
  
"Wonderful." Harry pulled off his hospital gown, fully dressed underneath it. "I'm not going to say I had a wonderful time, but thanks for all your efforts. Even if you found nothing wrong." Harry couldn't help but add a little accusation in the last words.  
  
Pomfrey nodded a bit stiffly. "Well, you can head down to the Great Hall. They're still serving breakfast, I'll give you a late slip for Potions." She said.  
  
"Potions? Of course it has to be Potions." Harry muttered, pulling on his shoes. "Snape'll be thrilled to see me."  
  
"You were all ready to flee only minutes before." Pomfrey grinned. Who said she never took pleasure in seeing people squirm?  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Just give me the pass and I'll get out of your hair." Harry muttered.  
  
XXX  
  
Harry hustled down the corridors, stuffing a piece of toast into his mouth. If he moved he could make it to Potions on time, no need for Snape to make things worst. He rounded a corner and nearly collided with another person.  
  
"Watch where you're going!" Harry shouted, picking up his bag.  
  
"Well, well, well. What do we have here." A familiar voice said.  
  
"Aw, damn. Out of the way Malfoy, I'm going to be late." Harry glared at the blonde haired boy who stepped in his way.  
  
"I heard you blew up your dead girlfriend's crapper?" Draco said sneering.  
  
"Shut it, Draco." Harry snapped, he felt his anger rising. Every time, there had to be a test of will, a clashing of words. Harry was tired of it. "Get out of my way, you'll be late too."  
  
"Snape doesn't care if I walk in a minute late or an hour late." Draco said, smiling. "You on the other hand." He just grinned.  
  
"You got a damn bad attitude, you know that Malfoy. I would think you'd be on your best behavior since you father's rotting in Azkaban." Harry snarled.  
  
Draco shoved Harry. "Don't you dare talk about my father!" He roared.  
  
"What? You gonna cry Malfoy? You miss your papa?" Sneered Harry. "He's probably crying like a little girl in Azkaban now. So much for the pureblood House of Malfoy, a bunch of criminals and murderers."  
  
Harry dodged the first clumsy punch. Harry's wand was out and he cried. 'Expelliarmus!" Draco went skidding across the floor.  
  
"You and me have a big problem, Draco." Harry said standing over Draco. "It's time we settled this, once and for all."  
  
Harry didn't see Draco kick out. He felt a sudden pain and toppled to the floor. Draco was on him in an instant, his fist rising and falling and smacking against flesh. Harry jabbed his wand into Draco's ribs, sending out a vicious shock. Draco grunted and Harry shoved him off.  
  
They quickly got to their feet, Harry sporting a couple of bruises, Draco leaned to one side, a hand covering the small burn in his robes. Harry wiped the blood seeping from his nose and glared at Draco. "Come on, pureblood. Let's see what you can do." He tossed aside his wand, Draco would have no excuses when he lost.  
  
Draco roared, Harry charged and they met with a clash of fists, knees, elbows, and snarling curses. Harry got clipped squarely on his nose again, Draco got a knee to the groin, Harry a punch to the throat, and Draco a head butt to the forehead that hurt Harry as badly as it hurt Draco, but it loosened Draco's death grip around Harry's neck. An elbow to the head, a punch to the eye, and an uppercut to the jaw floored Draco.  
  
Harry leaned against the corridor wall, panting heavily. His throat hurt, from the punch and the attempted choking. "You done, Malfoy?" He rasped.  
  
"I'll kill you, Potter." Draco snarled, slowly and shakily getting to his knees. Harry had to admit, he wasn't one to give up easily.  
  
"Yeah? I've heard that too many times to take it seriously anymore." Harry strode up to Draco and kicked him in the stomach. He collapsed in a grunt of pain. Another kick to the head knocked him out. He lay there breathing softly and looking peaceful upon the ground  
  
"Damn, I'm late." Harry muttered looking at his watch.  
  
XXX  
  
"You only left twenty minutes ago!" Pomfrey said noticing Harry entering the Hospital Wing. Then she took a double take. "What happened!" Madam Pomfrey demanded as Harry limped toward her.  
  
"I...I...uh...I fell down some stairs." Harry said, sitting gingerly upon one of the beds.  
  
"Are those hand prints on your neck?" Pomfrey demanded, pulling out bandages and slaves.  
  
"No. Don't be silly." 


	8. Who's Sirius Black

Who's Sirius Black?  
  
"Well?" Professor McGonagall demanded, seating roughly behind her desk. She folded her hands before her, her eyes gazing intently at Harry.  
  
"What?' Harry asked, expression of pure innocence. He didn't move a muscle, one squirm, one look of guilt, even a quick glance away would give him away. I didn't do anything wrong, he thought over and over. I know nothing.  
  
"Don't play dumb with me, Potter." McGonagall snarled, then she checked herself, her face becoming expressionless. "Draco had a shattered rib, a fractured jaw, and three broken fingers."  
  
Harry nodded slowly. Don't smile. Don't twitch! "It must have been a rough day for Draco."  
  
"Thirty minutes he lay in that hall while everyone was in class. Thirty minutes where he could have died." McGonagall said angrily, her hands were shaking from the pent up rage.  
  
"What does this have to do with me?" Harry asked. It took all his will and effort to keep from laughing. Thirty minutes and no one knew he had been beaten up or that he was missing at all? Don't twitch!  
  
"Twenty minutes after you left the Hospital Wing you returned. A bruised larynx, two broken fingers, various other bruises and marks of violence upon you body. You mean to tell me this has nothing to do with what happened with Draco near Snape's Potions classroom?"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about, Professor. I already told Pomfrey what happened, and I know nothing about what happened to Draco. But I'll tell you this, who ever did have a row with Draco in the corridor, if you ever find him or her, tell me, because I'd like to shake that person's hand. Draco's had what he got a long time coming. Always sniping at people, making jokes behind their backs, and insulting them." Harry said, suddenly feeling angry.  
  
McGonagall sighed, leaning back in her chair. Her sigh wasn't a sign of defeat. It was a sigh of realizing you've misjudged a person. Harry felt like confessing right then and there, but he couldn't. I didn't' do anything wrong!  
  
"Violence never solves anything, Harry. It's just begets more violence, hate, and anger. You think you solved something with Draco today? No. All you did was make him hate you more." Harry began to deny everything, but she just shook her head and held up her hand to quiet him. "I don't know what to do with you. I don't know what's gotten into you."  
  
She was silent for a moment, watching him. "I've lost someone I've loved dearly before." She said suddenly.  
  
Harry looked at her in confusion.  
  
"I've felt the anger, the frustration, and the impotence that comes with trying to deal with the grief and the pain." She sighed and her eyes seemed to go unfocused for a moment, remembering old memories. "I've experience the anger you're feeling now. The irrational rage that burns in you for not being able to help Sirius that night." She said softly.  
  
Harry looked at her in confusion. "Who?" He asked.  
  
It was like a steel door slammed down on McGonagall's expression. The almost motherly expression she wore moments ago vanished, replaced by a stone hard immobile one. "Is that an attempt at a joke, Potter?"  
  
"Uh...." Harry tried to think frantically of a correct response.  
  
"I do not like being mocked, especially when I'm trying to help you, Potter." McGonagall said stiffly. "I know you and Sirius Black were close. I know that you're still grieving for him, but its still no excuse for violence."  
  
Harry tried desperately to not look confused. "I'm sorry, Professor. I don't mean to mock you or anything. It's just... who's Sirius Black?" Harry asked, quickly.  
  
Harry nearly winced. McGonagall glared at him, her eyes like knives and her presence suddenly seeming to loom over him. Harry unconsciously leaned back in his chair, trying to put some space between him and her and get closer to the door. Suddenly that seemed to vanish and it was replaced with another emotion, fear.  
  
"What do you mean, who's Sirius Black?" She asked, her voice low.  
  
"I just don't know who you're referring to when you're talking about Sirius Black. It's a person, right?" Harry tried to find a path that wouldn't anger her.  
  
McGonagall just stared at him. "I'm going to have to get Dumbledore." She muttered. 


	9. A Talk Over Tea II

A Talk Over Tea II  
  
"No offense, but your chairs tend to hurt my back." Dumbledore said, conjuring up a brightly colored squishy armchair. He pushed it before a low square table, where McGonagall was setting a pot of tea and a tray of ginger newts, a faint smile upon her lips.  
  
"Mmm...Harry should get into trouble more often." Dumbledore mused, popping a ginger newt into his mouth. "That way I get to be invited to other professor's offices and fed tea and cookies." Dumbledore grinned.  
  
"One lump or two?" McGonagall asked, setting a delicate looking cup before Dumbledore.  
  
"Six." He said.  
  
McGonagall raised and eyebrow. "That bad of a day?"  
  
Dumbledore sighed. "Rock beetles are in infesting the pumpkins again, Hagrid's on me about letting him teach how to raise firehawks to his students. Snape's been hounding me about Draco's "accident", though Draco's being as tight lip about it as Harry, and of course this whole business about Harry's memories missing." Dumbledore took a sip of his tea, sighing with pleasure. "English Rose?"  
  
McGonagall nodded. "I got a box of different flavors from one of my former students." She said, taking a sip of her tea. "How bad is it?" Concern etched into her face.  
  
"The tea? It's quiet good."  
  
"No. How bad is the damage to Harry's memories?"  
  
Dumbledore sighed again, taking a moment to chew upon another ginger newt. "I'm not sure, but from the questioning I had with him, his memories seem to have been erased selectively."  
  
"What's that mean?"  
  
"Chunks of his memories are missing but they're groups of memories that were interconnected. Memories of people, places, and events. I'm not an expert on memories, neither is Madam Pomfrey. I'm thinking we're going to have to send for a healer from St. Mungos." Dumbledore took another sip of tea. "He doesn't remember anything about Sirius Black. He remembers the Battle of the Ministry, 12 Grimmauld Place, and getting his firebolt, but he doesn't specifically remember Sirius. He doesn't remember meeting him, he doesn't remember him dying, though he remembers the events surrounding Sirius' escape from Hogwarts during the third year. It's just Sirius he doesn't remember"  
  
"How can that be?" McGonagall asked.  
  
Dumbledore shrugged. "I don't know. We have to know what kind of potion he was making. What he was attempting to do. Myrtle's still missing and Snape's having no luck piecing the mess together. A lot of it was destroyed in the initial explosion." He set the cup down upon the table. "I've been questioning him for the past two hours and it seems that all the memories he's missing are connected together."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Pain and fear. They're all the painful and fearful memories he's ever had. Sirius dying, his parents dying, his years of living with the Dursleys, and Cedric being killed. All those memories have been erased."  
  
"Can the memories be recovered?"  
  
"I don't know. We'll have to ask the healer, when she comes."  
  
"Is it even right to bring back those memories?" McGonagall asked softly, setting her cup upon the table.  
  
"What do you mean?" Dumbledore asked, pausing as he reached for more ginger newts.  
  
"Harry's life has been nothing but pain and lost. His parents dying, his life with the Dursleys, time and time again he's hit with pain. What I'm saying is, is it right for us to make him suffer those pains anew, by trying to bring them back?"  
  
Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes for a moment. "I'm afraid we have to. You understand that Harry's life's been painful, but it's that pain that's shaped the boy we know today. That strong, intelligent boy with so much potential. But if he doesn't remember the pain, doesn't remember the fear, then he's not the Harry we know.  
  
"Our experiences changes who we are, in small and different ways. It makes us determined, cautious, it makes us challenge others, fight or do things better. Failure, pain, hurt, misery, all those harsh emotions, they're there to teach us lessons."  
  
McGonagall nodded. "Then what do we have now? A person that's not Harry, but is actually Harry?"  
  
"I don't know. He's been acting strangely or differently. Just look at what happened this morning. The Harry we knew wouldn't have fought Draco, he would have known to ignore him and go on. Instead he fought him and beat him. Then he lied to you about it and to Madam Pomfrey."  
  
"So we'll be dealing with a person that's not like the Harry we knew?"  
  
"Oh, it'll be the same old Harry, but different. As bad as it sounds, he's not a boy that's been scarred by the harshness of life. He can feel anger, he can feel love, and he remembers the last six years. I had a discussion with him a few minutes ago. He's interested in rejoining the Quidditch team, a girl that walked in on us caught his eye, and he's worried about his classes." Dumbledore smiled. "He's just you're average sixteen year old boy. Quidditch, girls, and homework on the mind."  
  
McGonagall closed her eyes. "And we're going to have to destroy that? Make him face the memories he's been burdened with?"  
  
"We have no choice. He's the one that has to face Voldemort." Dumbledore grimaced as he said it, a great weight of sadness settling upon his shoulders, which were already stooped. 


	10. Talking With Myrtle

Talking With Myrtle  
  
"Myrtle?" Harry said out loud, his voice echoing in the empty restroom. He squinted in the half-light, and then pulled out his wand. "Lumos." He muttered, the tip of his wand flared to life.  
  
"Boo!" Myrtle screeched inches from Harry's face. Harry let out a yelp and staggered back, bumping roughly into a washbasin and nearly falling. Myrtle cackled at him, flying around the restroom.  
  
"Damn it, Myrtle." Harry cursed, picking up his wand off the floor.  
  
"You should have seen your face." Myrtle cackled. "Oh, that was so good."  
  
Harry just glared at her. "I need to ask you some questions." He said, leaning against the washbasin.  
  
Myrtle stopped laughing, her face becoming serious. "What?" She demanded.  
  
"What was I doing here the other day? What happened." He asked.  
  
Myrtle looked at him appraisingly. "You don't remember?" She asked.  
  
"No. That potion I was making. What was it, what was it meant to do?" He demanded.  
  
"What do you remember?"  
  
"Nothing. I don't remember ever coming here. I don't' remember ever brewing the damn thing. I don't remember portions of my life. This man named Sirius Black, my parents, someone name Cedric, and a whole lot of other things." Harry began pacing, shaking his head and clenching his fists.  
  
"You shouldn't have let it boil over. I told you to stir it." Myrtle suddenly said.  
  
Harry stopped pacing and looked at her. "What?"  
  
"The potion. You were only supposed to let it simmer, but you were arguing with the others and it boiled over. Not the best thing to do." She said.  
  
"Tell me what happened." Harry said through gritted teeth.  
  
Myrtle sighed dramatically. "Fine." She sniffed and settled upon the floor, floating inches above the tile. "You came here asking about dead people and ghosts. About what happens after you die and such things. I told you I didn't know anything about it." She glared at Harry. "You wouldn't listen and kept badgering me about it, plus you looked so sad. You were weeping about this Sirius Black and I said I knew how you could get over the pain, the hurt, and all that."  
  
"The potion." Harry said.  
  
Myrtle nodded. "Fifty years I've been in this school, you don't think I've seen plenty of potions brewed? I may be dead, but I'm not stupid. I still remember things."  
  
"What was the potion?" Harry demanded.  
  
"I'm getting to it." Myrtle snapped. "Eximo Dolor. That's what I showed you how to make. A potion that's supposed to ease you suffering, make hard edges of your suffering soft and the pain fade away. Not everyone knows that potion." Myrtle smiled. "I do though. I watched as Professor Kinder used it after his wife died. A terrible woman, in death and life."  
  
"Then what happened? Why did I lose my memories instead?" Harry asked.  
  
"The potion exploded. You forgot to stir it, it blew up and who knows what it made."  
  
Harry sat down upon the floor, staring off into space.  
  
"I don't see why you're worried about it, anyway." Myrtle said. "You lost your memories, but from what you said they weren't good memories. I should be so lucky; do you know that everyday I remember how I died? Every hurt and wrong everyone did to me while I was living and while I was dead!" Myrtle began crying, high-pitched squeals and sobbing.  
  
"What do you mean?" Harry asked, ignoring her sobbing.  
  
Myrtle suddenly stopped crying, looking at him. "You don't remember all the hurtful things or the painful things in your life. You're not burdened with those memories. Look at yourself now. Three days ago you were slouching around the castle, weeping in your sleep, and talking to no one."  
  
"How did you know I cried in my sleep?" Harry asked.  
  
Myrtle only smiled. "My point is, look at yourself. You smile, you've laughed, you've stood up for yourself, and you're not moping around. What did these memories do for you, but cause you grief and pain? You're far better without them than you are with them."  
  
Harry was quiet for a moment, then he laughed suddenly. "I can't believe it, but you're actually making sense.' He said.  
  
Myrtle nodded. "Of course I am. The memories you lost were only memories that scarred you, now you're free of them. No more nightmares, no more crying, just a clean slate."  
  
Harry nodded. "You're right. I don't need those memories. I don't even know who those people were anyway." Harry stood up and began walking to the door. "Thanks for your help, Myrtle." He said, sincerely.  
  
"Don't be a stranger, Harry. My restroom's always open to you." She said, giggling. 


	11. The Next Morning III

The Next Morning III  
  
"Where were you all day?" Ron said, sliding into the seat across from Hermione in the Great Hall. "You just vanished after DADA."  
  
Hermione looked up from the book she was reading. "I was busy." She said simply, returning to her reading.  
  
Ron sighed. "Look I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to make light of the situation."  
  
Hermione nodded. "It's okay." She said, closing her book and smiling. "I was kind of overreacting anyway. Sorry about unleashing Ginny on you, though."  
  
Ron glared at her. "That was you? She practically flogged me for making you mad." Ron said, reaching for a plate. He shook his head. "Speaking about floggings did you hear about Malfoy?"  
  
"No. What happened?" Hermione asked, picking out a bun and wincing, as it was still hot.  
  
Ron stared at her. "Do we even go to the same school? I mean everyone's talking about it. Harry beat the crap out of Malfoy before Potions yesterday." He said, shaking his head and cracking a hard-boiled egg.  
  
"What?" Hermione asked shocked. "Was Harry hurt?"  
  
"Yeah. I heard he broke some fingers and hurt his neck or something. That's why he wasn't in class all day. Pomfrey fixed him back up, not a scratch on him now." Ron reached for the plate of bacon, toppling more than a few onto his plate. "The hilarious thing is that no one knew Draco had been beaten up, he was just lying in the corridor knocked our for a hour or so. That's why Snape was so pissed during the end of class." Ron said, grinning. "Damn. I wish I hadn't gotten to class so early."  
  
"Why? What would you have done?" Hermione asked warily.  
  
"What would I have done? I would have helped in beating that git to a bloody pulp." Ron said savagely. "The prat deserves what he got and more. Aw, hell." He cursed, quickly picking up a napkin and wiping off the crushed egg in his hand.  
  
"That's a terrible thing for Harry to do." Hermione said, she shook her head. 'What's gotten in to him?"  
  
"He probably finally had enough with that bastard." Ron said, picking up another egg. Hermione shot him a look. "What? He is a bastard."  
  
Hermione frowned. "That doesn't sound like Harry."  
  
Ron shrugged. "What ever's gotten into him, it looks like it's a change for the better. The way I hear it is that Draco's been hiding out since yesterday. Once Pomfrey healed his wounds, he fled to the Slytherin House and hasn't left yet." Ron grinned, piling bacon and eggs upon a slice of bread.  
  
"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked.  
  
Ron shrugged. "I dunno." He said over a mouthful of food. "Went to sleep last night and he wasn't back from wherever. Woke up this morning and he'd gone, Neville said he had to run an errand or something. Though he might have been with you, since you didn't come back until late and you were gone early too."  
  
Hermione shook her head. "I was in the library all day and all last night. I haven't seen Harry since we left the Hospital Wing and he was unconscious then." She was quiet for a moment. "I think we should talk to him." Hermione said, slipping her books into her bag. "See if there's anything wrong or if he's okay."  
  
"What? Now? We don't even know where he is. Plus I'm eating." Ron said, waving his sandwich.  
  
Hermione rose to her feet. "Never mind." Hermione said, glancing toward the entrance of the Great Hall.  
  
"What the hell's he doing with her?" Ron said, looking as if he had bitten something sour. "I thought she was with that little git Michael."  
  
Ron and Hermione both watched as Harry walked into the Great Hall with Cho at his side. She was laughing and he was smiling. He saw them and waved at them, but didn't come to their table; instead he sat at the Ravenclaw table and was talking animatedly with Cho and several others. They were all girls and they all laughed at his remarks.  
  
"Looks like he's found new friends." Ron said, his face blank and chewing roughly on his food.  
  
Hermione nodded solemnly. "That's rude." She remarked. "Three weeks we haven't spoken more than three words with him and now he's gabbing with the Ravenclaws?" She frowned fiercely.  
  
Ron just nodded. "I hope Draco got in a few good punches." He said, grabbing his bag and heading for the door. Hermione hesitated a moment, glancing at Harry who was deep in conversation. She shook her head and followed Ron. 


	12. A Suprise And A Gift

A Surprise And A Gift  
  
Hermione was walking slowly up the stairs to the Gryffindor tower, her mind upon the charms that Flitwick had been teaching them only hours before. She was anticipating rereading the chapter he had assigned them, it really was a good chapter. She looked up to see Harry lounging against the wall, chatting with one of the paintings, a skinny, gaunt looking man who waved merrily at Hermione and then ran off into the background of the painting.  
  
"Hey, Hermione." Harry said, grinning and running his hands through his hair.  
  
Hermione stopped at the last step looking at him. She still felt a little angry about his actions earlier in the day. "Hello, Harry." She said stiffly.  
  
"Can we talk?" He asked.  
  
"We're talking right now." Hermione said. A quiet descended upon the two. "I don't have time for this I have homework to do." She began up the stairs again.  
  
Harry stepped before her, blocking her way up the stairs. "I'm sorry about this morning, but I had things to talk to with Cho. I was going to come over, but when I turned around again you and Ron had left." He smiled.  
  
Hermione was quiet for a moment, but then she nodded. "Well, we were just worried about you. You haven't spoken to us in the past three weeks. I think you've spoken more words to me today than the last nineteen days."  
  
Harry looked thoughtful for a moment. "I guess I had things on my mind, I really don't know." Harry shrugged.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Hermione asked.  
  
"No. Everything's fine. No problems." Harry replied. He suddenly extended his hand toward her. "Come on, I want to show you something."  
  
Hermione looked at his hand and looked up at the smiling Harry. "Uh...I was planning on finishing Charms essay." She said, hefting her bag of books.  
  
Harry laughed. "That's not due until next week. Come on, you gotta see this." With that he grabbed her hand and pulled her along, down the hall and away from the Gryffindor Tower.  
  
"Where are we going?" Hermione asked, being dragged behind him.  
  
"We're almost there." Harry said. They stopped before a heavy wooden door.  
  
"The Room of Requirement?" Hermione asked, glancing at Harry. "What needs to be seen in there?"  
  
Harry just grinned and opened the door, pushing Hermione before him.  
  
"SURPRISE!!!" Hermione was nearly knocked back by the roar. Lights flared and revealed dozens of people in the Room, all grinning and waving small banners and throwing confetti. Hermione stood there, a look of shock and confusion on her face.  
  
"Happy birthday, Hermione." Harry said, grinning.  
  
XXX  
  
"You think I wouldn't remember?" Harry asked, sitting down beside Hermione. She was flipping through a slim book, Harry handed her a plate with a cake upon it.  
  
"Even I forgot." Hermione admitted grinning ruefully, she accepted the cake and set aside the book.  
  
Harry laughed, leaning back in the seat. He looked about and smiled to himself. The celebration was nearing its end, several had already left and everyone was clumped into small groups talking and playing games. Ron was frantically trying to win at chess against Cho.  
  
"It's good to hear you laugh, Harry." Hermione said. "You've been...distant for the last couple of weeks."  
  
"I guess I've been avoiding you and Ron since school started, and this morning I was asking Cho about getting this place ready for your party. " Harry said. He was quiet for a moment, watching the others talking and laughing. "I haven't given you your present, have I?" He pulled out a small box from his pocket and handed to her. "It's nothing grand."  
  
Hermione unwrapped the box and found a golden locket within it. She opened it and saw the laughing and grinning pictures of Ron, Harry, Ginny, and her.  
  
"It's beautiful." Hermione said. "Thank you, Harry." She hugged him.  
  
"It's nothing." Harry said, quickly looked away and clearing his throat. "Let's go see Cho beat Ron, shall we?" He said after a moment of silence.  
  
Hermione slipped the locket around her neck, smiling faintly. "Yeah. Ron'll need all the help he can get." She said. 


	13. Lakeside Conversation

Lakeside Conversation  
  
Hermione found him sitting upon a bench near the lake. He had a far away expression upon his face, as he waxed his broom. She hesitated for a moment, watching him. then she cleared her throat, wincing as it sounded louder than she though.  
  
Harry looked up from the bench, a smile forming upon his face. "Hey, Hermione."  
  
"Where were you today?" She asked, frowning slightly. "You weren't in any of your classes."  
  
Harry only grinned. "It was such a beautiful day, why waste it sitting inside a classroom?"  
  
"And that's the reason you didn't go to any of your classes today? Because it was such a beautiful day?" Hermione asked, disbelief heavy in her voice.  
  
Harry nodded. "Yeah."  
  
"That's..." Hermione tried finding the word to describe what he had done, but none came to her. "What did you do all day then?" She finally said.  
  
Harry shrugged. "This and that." He waved out toward the open lawns of Hogwarts and the Lake. "I practiced a little Quidditch, helped Hagrid stomp rock beetles, and just enjoyed the day. Lying around and thinking mostly." He said.  
  
Hermione shook her head. "That's insane." She took a seat beside him upon the bench, staring at him as if he'd grown an extra arm or something.  
  
Harry only laughed. "Actually I think it's the opposite. It's the sanest thing I've done since we came back to school." He set his broom down and wiped his hands upon a rag. "I've never seen anything more clearly as I do now. It's like before everything was dimmed or clouded, but now I can see everything clearly. And I'll tell you this, I've never seen things so bright and cheerful." Harry sighed, grinning at Hermione.  
  
"But to miss class?"  
  
"Haven't you ever just stopped and smelled the roses? I did that, literally. I was helping Hagrid fertilize the rose gardens and I stopped to smell the, and they smelled wonderful."  
  
Hermione sighed, staring out across the lake. Then she turned at looked at Harry. "What's gotten into you?" She asked.  
  
Harry smirked. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I don't mean to sound offensive or anything, but you don't seem to be acting like yourself. It's like aliens came and took the real you away, leaving us with a duplicate."  
  
Harry chuckled. "What? Being happy is acting unusual?"  
  
"For you it is." Hermione remarked, and then she suddenly covered her mouth. "I'm sorry!"  
  
Harry only smiled. 'No. No. You're right. I know I've been moping around the castle and not talking to anyone the last couple of weeks. But that was when I was burdened. When there was a great weight upon my shoulders that made it so that it was the only thing I could concentrate upon."  
  
"Then what happened?" Hermione asked.  
  
"The potion. It just didn't knock us out or make us forget the morning, it changed me. It gave me a clean slate, a fresh start. One without all the pain and all the hurt and fear that I've felt these past years."  
  
Hermione stared at him in shock. "What do you mean by clean slate? What did that potion do?"  
  
"It erased all the bad memories. All the painful memories." Harry said, tapping his forehead.  
  
"We have to tell Dumbledore!" Hermione said, jumping to her feet.  
  
"I already did. He says he's getting a healer from St. Mungos to come over, see if anything else was damaged." Harry shrugged. "I don't know why he cares so much about it. I for one don't mind those memories gone."  
  
"How can you say that?" Hermione asked, sitting back down upon the bench.  
  
"Do you ever miss your wings?' He asked.  
  
"What?" Hermione asked confused.  
  
"That's my point. How can you miss something that you've never had? I don't' recall these memories, I don't know these people, so why should it worry me?"  
  
Hermione was quiet for a long while. "But those memories made you who you are." She said finally.  
  
Harry shrugged. "Am I not me? Am I not the same Harry that I was yesterday and the year before? I'm still me, minus a few memories."  
  
"But..." Hermione began.  
  
'Can we talk about something else?" Harry asked, sighing and rubbing his eyes. "I can't change what happened. It's done and I don't think I'd want to change it back to the way it was."  
  
"Okay." Hermione said softly. Silence descended upon the two, only broken by the shouts of other students and a bird chirping in the distance.  
  
"There's a Hogsmeade visit tomorrow." Harry suddenly said. He stared out toward the lake, his gaze following a bird swooping over the lake's waters.  
  
"Yeah. I've seen the bulletin." Hermione remarked, wrinkling her nose as she saw a caterpillar making it's way up her bag.  
  
"You want to go?" Harry asked, intently watching as the water rippled and he could almost make out the form of the giant squid.  
  
"I was already planning on it." Hermione said, brushing of the offending creature with a twig. "I really need some new quills and ink." She repositioned her bag.  
  
"No. I mean do you want to do with me. Together." Harry said quickly, avoiding her gaze.  
  
Hermione was quiet for a while. She glanced at Harry and quickly looked away. The quiet seemed to drag on forever, Harry sat there fidgeting and was about to speak, to say he was kidding, to say it was a joke, when she looked at him and smiled. "Yeah. I'd like that." 


	14. Talking While Waiting

Talking While Waiting  
  
"Are you mad?" Hermione asked cautiously.  
  
Harry put a grin upon his face. "No. Well, yes. But not anymore." He said, shrugging. "Stupid prat said I couldn't come."  
  
"But it's all been cleared up, right?"  
  
"Yeah, of course. I'm here aren't I?" Harry grinned. "You have to give it to Filch, though. He says on top of all the paperwork, when it concerns making the lives of other people miserable."  
  
"I just thought you'd go off and do something regretful." Hermione said softly.  
  
"What? What do you mean?"  
  
Hermione shrugged uneasily. "You've been acting different and when Filch said you couldn't come down, I'd kinda figured you'd do something." She finished looking ashamed.  
  
Harry only laughed. "Why would I go off on him?"  
  
Hermione shrugged again, looking down at table they were sitting at. "I don't know. It doesn't matter anyway. You're here and everything's been sorted out."  
  
Harry thought for a moment. "I understand now. It's the whole Sirius Black thing, right?" Hermione nodded slowly. "I'm sure I can get the Dursleys to sign the permission form, if not Dumbledore can step in again and allow me to come down here."  
  
Hermione only looked at him, as if trying to peer through his skin. She shook her head slightly. "Have you seen Ron?" She asked, changing the subject.  
  
Harry grinned with relief. Talking about Sirius Black, was well...a serious talk and it always left whoever was speaking sad. "Yeah. I saw him this morning; he was acting a little weird. Couldn't look me in the eye and just walked out of the dorm room while I was talking to him." Harry said, leaning back in his chair. "I wonder what's gotten into him. He's been acting like that since I told him we were going to Hogsmeade together."  
  
Hermione was silent for a moment and then shrugged. "I guess he has things on his mind."  
  
"Like what? If I had to guess I'd think he was moping over a girl or something. But then again I've never seen him with any girls, just you." Harry said, glancing around the shop they were in. Where was their order?  
  
"Should I take that as an insult?" Hermione asked, a faint smile on her lips.  
  
Harry looked startled. "No. No. I know you're a girl. Why else would I be here with you?"  
  
"Again. Should I be insulted?" Hermione asked, her smile was gone and her fingers tapping dangerously upon the table.  
  
Harry paused, he could feel he was treading a dangerous path. Harry sighed rubbing his face. "What's it with all these word games that girls play? They twist your words until you can't recognize them anymore and then trick you into saying things you don't mean and then take the meaning entirely differently than the way you actually meant it?"  
  
"You just have a way with words, don't you Harry?" Hermione said.  
  
Harry sighed again, he knew that tone. It was the I'm angry, but you're not going to make me angrier. I am in control of my emotions. It was a prelude to a fierce tongue-lashing. "Okay, I'll speak as bluntly as I can. I've known you what? Five years, going on six. You're a smart girl, you're a beautiful girl, and I like you. I like to spend time around you and I like to talk with you. That's why I'm here with you, so I can be around you and enjoy this day with you." Harry looked up and smirked. "Are you blushing?"  
  
"I don't know what to say." Hermione said after a while. "It's...Thank you." She blushed again.  
  
"Well, just forgive me if I did anything wrong or said anything wrong. It's not like I have much experience telling girls how I feel about them." Harry grinned. "Last time I was here, I was with Cho and well you know how that ended up."  
  
"Yeah, you really messed that up." Hermione smiled.  
  
Harry laughed. "And that's the reason I just decided to tell you as bluntly as I can. No wonderings, no questionings, nothing gray. I've openly cast my net and now I just have to reel in and see what I've caught."  
  
Hermione grinned. "You really do have a way with words, don't you?"  
  
XXX  
  
They were walking back to the Castle, Hermione laughing and Harry carrying the packages they had bought. Mostly quills, parchment, sweets and other necessities of life. Hermione carried a small bouquet of flowers, listening and laughing as Harry told a joke.  
  
They approached the man entrance and Harry saw Dumbledore standing there, waiting. He was flanked by Ron and Professor McGonagall. Dumbledore nodded, McGonagall looked a little apprehensive, and Ron seemed to be studying something intently.  
  
"What's up?" Harry asked, shooting Ron a questioningly look. But Ron was only frowning at Harry and looked away.  
  
"The healer from St. Mungo's just arrived. She's here to see what she can do about your memories." Dumbledore said. "Ron and Hermione will also have to see her, just in case there's any damage to their memories also."  
  
Hermione was looking at the sun setting in the west. "It's a bit late, isn't it? Can't she do this in the morning?" Harry nodded.  
  
"She's adamant about seeing you all as soon as possible. I've tried asking her to wait until tomorrow, but she insists that she sees you all now."  
  
Harry glanced at Hermione and shrugged. "Well, then. Let's get this over with." 


	15. Talking While Waiting II

Talking While Waiting II  
  
"Have a good time in Hogsmeade?" Ron asked.  
  
Hermione glanced at him, he wasn't looking in her direction, instead he stared at the door that led into the office the healer used. They had taken Harry into nearly half an hour ago.  
  
"Yes I did." She responded, she could see him frowning at the door.  
  
"I thought he was back with Cho." He said softly.  
  
Hermione shook her head. "He was just talking to her. To plan my birthday party. Didn't he tell you?"  
  
"No." Ron said shortly. "What does he tell me? The only thing I've heard from him is that he's going to on a date to Hogsmeade with you."  
  
"Then that's something that needs resolving between you and Harry. There's no need to be angry at me." She replied coldly, responding to the anger in his voice.  
  
Ron was quiet, turning away from her and staring at the door again. "Of all people, why Harry?" Ron demanded suddenly.  
  
"What's it to you? What does it matter who I go to Hogsmeade with?" Hermione retorted  
  
"He's your best friend." Ron shouted, rising to his feet.  
  
"Don't yell at me, Ronald Weasely." Hermione said angrily. "What's your problem? Why are you mad?"  
  
Ron suddenly looked away, frowning fiercely. He began pacing. "He gets everything." He said bitterly, looking straight at her.  
  
Hermione looked at him, confusion on her face. "What does that have to do with anything?"  
  
Ron stopped pacing. "You and any other guy I could handle. But this is worst. This is far worst than you and Krum."  
  
Hermione groaned, rolling her eyes heavenward. "Again with Viktor." She said. "He's done nothing to you."  
  
"This isn't about Vicky." Ron snapped, his face flushing and anger sparking in his eyes. "This is about you and Harry.  
  
"I could handle you and Krum. I could handle the letters, the sighing every time his name was spoken. I could even understand why you fancied him. All this I could take and all this I could understand. I was glad for two things through this, one, he was hundreds of miles away and, two, he wasn't my best god damn friend." Ron roared.  
  
Then it began all clicking together. Hermione just stared at him. "Oh, Ron." She sighed, dropping her head into her hands. "Why now?"  
  
Ron sat down beside her. "I don't think I can stand it. I don't think I could stand seeing you two together. With him being where I wished everyday I could be." He said softly. "God knows I love him like a brother, but this...this would destroy it all."  
  
"All these years!" Hermione shouted, Ron flinched. "All these damn years and you did nothing. You said nothing. Why NOW!"  
  
Ron was silent for a moment. "He gets everything. All the attention, all fame, all the glory. If he wanted to he could get any girl in this damn school. But who does he choose? You." Ron stabbed his finger in her direction. "I could handle it all. Being referred to as Harry's friend, Harry's shadow. Harry's this and Harry's that. But the only thing I've ever wanted for myself, the only thing that I desperately wished for, he snatches right out of my grasp." He clenched his hands into white-knuckle fists.  
  
Hermione glared at him, rage burning in her eyes. "And do I have any say in this? Do I have a voice?"  
  
"I'd always hoped you would choose me." Ron said, slumping in the seat.  
  
Hermione felt her anger burning away. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Why didn't you ever say a word?"  
  
Ron sighed, staring down at the floor. "I was scared, afraid to make that jump. Afraid you would say no, laugh, all sorts of things." He mumbled. "Would you have said yes?"  
  
Hermione looked away, staring at the door. "Yes." She said softly.  
  
Hope suddenly shone brightly in Ron's eyes. He stood up a smile upon his face. "Then will you?" He asked eagerly.  
  
Hermione winced and suddenly felt a pounding headache. "Oh, Ron. Why do you have to ask now? Why?"  
  
Ron looked at her, his face falling and the blank expression of hiding hurt forming. "One date does not constitute a relationship." He said finally. "But then again, I understand. You have Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, interested in you." He sneered. "What am I compared to him? Nothing."  
  
"You'd think me so shallow?" Hermione asked, feeling her anger returning. "You think I want fame, adoration? How dare you." Now it was her turn to clench her hands into white knuckled fists.  
  
"Then why choose him over me?"  
  
"I never said I choose anyone." Hermione snapped back. "You throw this upon me and you expect me to make a choice right now? You expect me to decide between the two people who have shared more pain, suffering, joy, and happiness with me than any other person? You expect a quick answer?"  
  
Ron looked away. "I had hoped that you would never have to choose, because there's no choice. There's no chance for me. There probably never was. Always on the edge, always playing the supporting role." Ron laughed bitterly. "But know this, he'll never feel for you the way that I do. Never."  
  
"Ahem!"  
  
Hermione glanced to the door and saw a short iron haired woman standing there. She looked between the two of them, a slight frown forming. "This is why I never liked school." She said, loudly. "People and all their little dramatics."  
  
Ron glared at her, but she ignored it, pulling a clipboard up. "Ronald and Hermione? Come in." She stepped away from the door.  
  
"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked looking around the sparse office the healer had been using. Ron stiffened at the mention of his name and brushed pass her.  
  
"He's with Dumbledore." The woman said and closed the door behind them. 


	16. A Talk Over Tea III

Talk Over Tea III  
  
"I'm glad you came." Dumbledore said. He was sitting in a large colorful armchair, before a low table, a kettle of tea sitting before him.  
  
"It's not like I had a choice, is it." Harry said irritably. He sat heavily in the armchair and glared sullenly at the table surface.  
  
"Everyone has choices, Harry." Dumbledore said mildly.  
  
"Then, I'll be leaving." Harry said, getting up.  
  
"Do you want to know why I asked you to come here?" Dumbledore asked, pouring tea into a cup before Harry's seat.  
  
Harry looked at him. "I know what you're going to say. What's been lost needs to be returned, what's broken needs fixing." He said.  
  
Dumbledore nodded, opening a tin of cookies. "Professor Sprout made these, they're quiet good. Chocolate chip. Would you like to join me for tea?" Dumbledore sat back in his chair, his eyes peering at Harry over his half moon glasses.  
  
Harry wanted to say no. He wanted to leave, but instead he sat down. Dumbledore passed Harry a plate of cookies.  
  
"I was speaking with Madam Hightower, the healer. Once you divulged what you were making she claims that it's only a quick potion and a little charm work to recover your memories. They were not entirely lost, only buried and forgotten." Dumbledore said, taking a sip of tea.  
  
"What if I say no? What if I don't want these memories?" Harry asked, settling his plate upon the table, untouched.  
  
"You would willingly forget you ever had these memories?" Dumbledore asked, an eyebrow rising slightly.  
  
"Yes." Harry responded immediately. "Everyone I've spoke to, they've all said the same thing. You've changed; you're not moping around anymore, you're happy. I know its true; I know that these memories were terrible and they were ruining me." Harry sighed, rubbing his temples. "Yesterday I had the most wonderful day of my life that I can remember, today I spent the day with a girl that filled my heart with joy and a sense of belonging. What will these memories do to me? Will they turn me back into that moping, sobbing boy?"  
  
"I don't know." Dumbledore said simply, taking another sip of tea.  
  
"Then how can you ask me to have them brought back?" Harry snapped.  
  
Dumbledore sighed, chewing upon a cookie. "Personally I would like nothing more than for you to live a life free of pain and hurt, to live a life like any other child. But the times we live in don't allow for that. You may have forgotten your memories, but there is another that still is seeking revenge."  
  
"Voldemort." Harry whispered. It always came back to him. The ever present shadow in his life.  
  
"Yes. He is still out there and he is still gathering his forces and forging his alliances." Dumbledore set his cup upon the table. "He has not forgotten about you, he won't let you disappear and live a life of your choosing."  
  
"So much for everyone having choices." Harry sneered.  
  
"You still have choices, Harry. You could not go through with it; you could live your life as you wish, without the pain and the hurt, and the love that you once felt for your parents and Sirius. But Voldemort would still hunt you down and most likely kill you." Dumbledore said bluntly.  
  
Harry snorted. "He could still do that even with the memories."  
  
Dumbledore nodded.  
  
"Why then are you so keen that I get my memories back? Why are you pushing for it? When you could just let me decided what I should do, what I want for myself."  
  
"Things have already been set in motion. It's too late to turn back now, the war has begun and unfortunately you've become one of the many pieces that are being moved in this war. I wish that you could live a life as any other child, you don't know how much it hurts me to see you having to face all these tests and all these hurts." Dumbledore sighed. "But you still have choices. I will not force this on you; I will not make you go through with it. It's your choice. But remember, you're not the only one that will be affected by this, you have already been chosen as a champion."  
  
"The prophecy." Harry cursed.  
  
"Yes. The weight of that responsibility now lies upon your shoulders. I wish that I could take it for you, but these things cannot be so easily shifted."  
  
Harry stood up. "Then I will think about it. It's still my choice. Prophecies aren't set in stone. I don't have to kill or be killed. As you say there's always choices." Harry turned and walked out of Dumbledore's office. 


	17. A Sister's Wrath

A Sister's Wrath  
  
It was the first time she had ever eaten alone. Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table, early Sunday morning. She hadn't slept well, she wasn't hungry, but it was all routine. Day after day she had come down here to eat and to talk with Ron. Day after day, except today.  
  
She spooned the bowl of porridge before her. It was hot and it smelled delicious, but she didn't want it, she wanted her friend back, the person she talked to day after day. She looked up and glanced toward the entrance, nothing.  
  
"Damn him." She muttered, getting to her feet and heading out of the Great Hall. "Get out of my way." She snarled as two students nearly collided with her, they jerked back and quickly got out of her sight.  
  
She would take care of this. She would solve this problem. Sure it would be harder than Arithmancy and messier than Potions, but she intended to solve it. These things tended to fester if left alone for too long. She nodded to herself, heading for the marble staircase, and then she saw Harry. He was making a beeline for the doors and didn't seem to notice her.  
  
He hadn't returned last night, she had waited for him in the common room, but he never came back. She hesitated for a brief moment and changed her course, heading after Harry.  
  
"Hermione!" Someone shouted. Hermione turned and saw Ginny bearing down upon her.  
  
"Damn." Hermione muttered, seeing the expression upon her face.  
  
"We need to talk." Ginny said.  
  
Hermione glanced at the disappearing figure of Harry. "I have something to do first. Can it hold for a moment?"  
  
"Now." It was not a request.  
  
Hermione nodded sharply and headed toward the classrooms. They were empty.  
  
"What?" Hermione demanded impatiently.  
  
Ginny rounded upon her. "What did you do to Ron?" She roared.  
  
Hermione held her ground. "Nothing."  
  
"Bullshit. He's a mess. Dean said he wouldn't come out of his bed and I went up there and all he did was keep repeating your name." Her eyes narrowed. "Now what did you do to him.? You two have had your fights, but this is worst. I haven't seen him like this, since, never."  
  
Hermione sighed. "What did he tell you?"  
  
"You had an argument. Nothing else." Ginny folded her arms across her chest and leaned against the professor's desk.  
  
Hermione closed her eyes for a moment, suddenly feeling the sleepless night settling over her. She sighed and began to tell Ginny what had happened as they were waiting to see the healer. Hermione looked up to see Ginny frowning furiously. This wasn't going good, Hermione thought.  
  
"Why Harry?" Ginny demanded. Hermione flinched, it sounded just like Ron.  
  
"I don't know...he asked." Hermione said shrugging.  
  
"That's it? He asked?" Ginny said, Hermione sighed. There was a tone in her voice.  
  
"Yes. Friday, I was talking to him and he asked me if I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him." Hermione said.  
  
"You went on a date with Harry?" There it was again, an accusing tone, mixed with disbelief and a tad of jealousy.  
  
"Yeah, I just told you."  
  
Ginny was silent for a moment. "This is bad." She muttered. "This is far worst than him and Cho."  
  
Hermione just starred. "Don't tell me..."  
  
"Yes." Ginny said, standing straight, a bit of defiance in her stance.  
  
"What about you and Dean?" Hermione sighed, already knowing the answer.  
  
"There's nothing. We ended it a couple of days ago. There really was nothing much to begin with." Ginny said.  
  
"Isn't this a grand mess." Hermione groaned sitting in one of the chairs.  
  
"Well, there's only one way this can be sorted out. Dump Harry." Ginny said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's the only solution. That way everyone gets who they want." Ginny nodded to herself.  
  
"Don't Harry and I get a voice in this?" Hermione shook her head, this was sounding a little to familiar. "You Weaselys! You all have very bad timing."  
  
Ginny nodded once, her eyes narrowed and her stance that of someone on the verge of getting very angry. "Think about it." She said and walked out of the classroom.  
  
"Bloody hell." Hermione muttered, rubbing her aching head. 


	18. The Only Option Left

The Only Option Left  
  
The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and a cool breeze came from across the lake, brining the smell of fresh water. Harry leaned back against a beech tree, staring at nothing in particular.  
  
"Damn it all." He muttered, throwing a stone into the lake. He should have never told, he should have never said anything. At least then he would have gotten a few days of peace.  
  
But life came roaring back. Harry sighed getting to his feet. There really were no choices. He could delude himself in thinking that he could choose not to regain his memories, but he knew it was a foolish notion. His memories were him, and like Dumbledore said, he may have forgotten things, but Voldemort hadn't.  
  
"Who knows. It may not be that bad." Harry muttered, but he laughed bitterly. He may have forgotten people and events, but he still remembered the after effects. The moments of depression, anger, and sadness. Those still stayed with him, but they weren't a burning feeling, they had healed.  
  
"Harry?" A voice said.  
  
Harry whirled around and faced Ginny.  
  
"Hey." He said.  
  
"Are you okay? You look mad and sad." She replied.  
  
Harry grinned, a very forced grinned. "Yeah, I'm peachy keen." He said.  
  
Ginny frowned. "I wanted to talk to you." She said.  
  
"Can it wait? I'm kinda busy here.' Harry said. "I have a lot on my mind."  
  
Ginny glanced across the lawn. "Yeah, I'll talk to you later." She said, turning and hurrying away.  
  
Harry shook his head. He didn't feel bad about brushing her off; his mind was too busy occupied at the moment. He turned and glanced across the lawn, sighing as he saw Hermione making her way toward him. "When you just want peace and quiet to think." He muttered.  
  
"Was that Ginny?" Hermione demanded.  
  
"Yeah." Harry said.  
  
"What did she want?" Hermione folded her arms across her chest and glared at the disappearing figure of Ginny.  
  
"I don't know. To talk she said." Harry replied, closing his eyes and leaning against the beech tree.  
  
"Well? Did you talk?"  
  
Harry sighed. "No. I told her I'd talk to her later. I have some things to think on."  
  
"What things?" Hermione said, a little anger in her voice.  
  
"Like deciding if I should get my memories back." Harry snapped.  
  
"Oh." Hermione said. She sat down beside him, quiet for a moment. "What have you decided?"  
  
"I have no damn choice in this matter anyway. I've been thinking it over all night long, but there's nothing I can do. There's only one option left open to me." Harry said, rubbing his eyes. Exhaustion seemed to have suddenly fall upon him.  
  
"Can I do anything to help?" Hermione asked.  
  
"No." Harry responded. "Just be prepared for a reappearing of Moping Harry."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Never mind." Harry got to his feet. "I just wanted to say that I had a good time with you at Hogsmeade."  
  
"Don't talk like that. You make it sound like you're dying or something." Hermione said.  
  
Harry shrugged. "Who knows." He laughed darkly. "You could call it a death, a death of the person you see standing before you."  
  
Hermione frowned. 'You're Harry, you'll always be Harry." She said firmly.  
  
Harry sighed, running his hands through his already disheveled hair. "Yeah, well I'll be seeing you in three weeks, I guess." He grinned.  
  
"I'll go with you." Hermione said, getting to her feet.  
  
"There's no need." Harry said.  
  
"Call it emotional support." She said.  
  
"Thanks." Harry muttered. He grinned when Hermione slipped her hand into his and they made their way across the lawn. 


	19. Let's Get This Over With

Let's Get This Over With  
  
"Let's get this over with." Harry said, as he entered the Hospital Wing.  
  
Madam Hightower looked up at him from a large complicated device she was working on. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked to have worked all through the night, but she looked awake and alert. Dumbledore sat upon a bed an interested look on his face as he watched what she was doing. Snape stood scowling in the corner, there was a potion sitting upon a table.  
  
"Good morning, Harry, Hermione." Dumbledore said, smiling. He rose to his feet. "I'm glad you decided to go through with it."  
  
There was a scathing retort on his tongue, but Harry swallowed it. "Yeah." He replied. Everything was prepared. How did they know he would agree? He glanced at Dumbledore, who was still smiling, and shook his head. The old man knew he had no choice.  
  
"Let's begin." Hightower said, rubbing her hands together.  
  
Within moments Harry had the device secured to his head and the potion shoved down his throat. It didn't really taste bad, but it made him lightheaded. Hermione watched apprehensively as they prepared him for whatever they were going to do.  
  
"Don't worry dear. This won't hurt a bit."  
  
Hightower was wrong. It did hurt and it hurt a lot. 


	20. Author's Note

Author's Note

Sorry about the long delay in writing, things have been a bit hectic hereabouts.

First of all I gotta say thanks to all those who have read and reviewed, I've enjoyed your comments and you showers of praise, (Me blushing with joy), and special thanks for SapphireMind who's been real good about reading and reviewing after every large chunk of updates I make. All your praises are fuel for my will to write, so please continue to review and I like praise, who doesn't?

To the important topic, the story.

It's up, the Title's been changed and all that good stuff. So if you want, you can read the chapters and I hope you've enjoyed this story and I hope you enjoy the next one.

Zero Mind.


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